December 24, 2004

[return of the nativ(ity)] ^{1:57 PM}

Like any good story, my long day of holiday travel has three parts:

I. THE MISFIT TERMINAL
I flew on ATA for the first time, and as such was relegated to the older, smaller terminal at National Airport. It was early, I paid entirely too much for a breakfast sandwich, purchased the newest issues of Star, InTouch and Us Weekly (for optimum travel survival), felt a pang of sadness when I realized I'd read everything David Sedaris has written, and sad, waiting for the plane.

Some days can be easily divided into "hot days," where everyone you see is an 8, 9, or 10, and other days are horrific testiments to inbreeding. Yesterday was neither of those days. Yesterday was just an odd day. Everyone looked interesting at the terminal, as in: huh, I'd never think of drawing a face that way...

Once we were loaded onto the plane we pulled away from the terminal ... and sat. For over an hour. The weather-front of doom claimed me as a victim as we sat on the runway as thunderstorms raged around us (apparently, pilots are afraid to fly through lightning). If you've never been in a plane being pelted by thunderous rain, well, it's very very interesting. I'd actually call it one of those things I'm glad I experienced but didn't know I ever wanted to.

Next to me on the flight was an obnoxious newlywed couple. The headline probably read, "Ditsy Blonde finds happiness with Un-funny frat boy." Once the babies started crying, and he kept on making "jokes," my faith in humanity began to wane.

Turbulance, According to Jim as "in-flight entertainment," and a broken reading light officially grinched me.

II. HOTTIE-DAY TRAVELS
A delayed DC departure threatened my plans to meet up at Chicago's Midway with Aaron in baggage claim. My connecting flight was going to pre-board in 15 minutes, but if I ran I might be able to hug my friend in baggage claim, sprint through security and late-board my plane. A quick call to Aaron and I found out he wasn't yet at the airport, and as the clock ticked (and the monitor said "Flight 955: ON TIME") I disappointedly made my way back through security.

Something odd occured tho. The "interesting" people in DC had been replaced by Hot people. I mean really hot people. As in, a big budget porn would begin in the security line and new and erotic ways of screening passengers would be discovered.

Maybe I was delerious. Maybe I was in heat. Maybe my plane wasn't at the gate. Oh. Wait. Yes, the plane wasn't at the gate. It said "on time," but it's hard to be "on time" when you can't board a non-existent aircraft.

It seems our flight, which was flying in from Laguardia, was much delayed by the stormfront that screwed me in DC, only instead of thunderstorms they got snow.

It seems the storm front royally screwed everyone, and as fate would have it, Chicago's Midway airport has more bars in it than I'd ever seen. No one was particularly angry at the delays, they were drunk.

I took my seat in the terminal and waited for my "on time" flight. I sat next to a DILF and his 3 kids. 2 boys, one girl, aged 4-7. While the adults were inebriated and largely lethargic, the children were wired, antsy, and making the DILF (travelling alone) stress out. But I could change things. Indeed, being a grown child myself, I could solve these problems.

Fast forward 15 minutes: I was on the floor with my cache of X-Men comics, Brandon, Josh and Caitlin, and DILF was grabbing a beer.

The kids were so cool. We talked about comics and cartoons for a good hour and upon eventual boarding I was given numerous high-fives. High-fives, it seems, are a drug to children, and if you can get a "grown-up" to do it the high is amazing.

III. BIG HAIR CENTRAL
The flight to Dallas (home of the grandparents) was muuuch better. The children had restored my faith in the human race (and the superhero genre), and my seatmeat had brought along an iBook and season one of Sex and the City.

My cousin and grandfather picked me up at the airport, and as if to repay me for my delays, my baggage was some of the first to be spit out by the carousel.

The rest of my family arrived today. It's been a really really good time, and I'm decompressing well. I spent the day relaxing, looking at apartments online and driving around used-car lots to get a feeling of prices and what's out there.

Even tho the travel was somewhat stressful, it was also good for me. I've spent the past few weeks running around, and when I wasn't running around I was thinking about where I'd run arount to next. Yesterday the only thing I could do was sit, and it was actually really nice. Minus that fucking unfunny frat boy.

I hope everyone has a great chrismukkahkwanzadan, and regardless of where you are in the world I miss you and wish upon you nothing but hugs (and liquor).

My love to all.

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