see kyle draw

December 2, 2004

[near and far] ^{12:05 AM}

Grover and I broke up in 1986. It was my first real relationship, and while I tried to make it work, it became obvious he wasn't as committed as I. During my attempts to work things out he'd always change the subject. Sometimes he'd put on his cape and claim to be "Super Grover," and other times he'd get right next to me, tempting me, his breath hot on my face and say, "Near," and then run away, crossing to the other side of our rowhouse and shouting, "Far!"

"Yes!" I would scream back, "Yes! You're near! You're far! You're everywhere but here!"

Sometimes he would assign our conversations sponsor letters. By the end of our fights, I had usually changed the sponsors to "F" and "U."

I changed a lot in that relationship. I discovered a lot about myself, and grew up quite a bit in the process. I moved in with Ernie shortly thereafter until I could get a place of my own. We worked together at Mr. Hooper's store down on the corner where Snuffy dealt the imported skittles, and where Jose repeatedly made passes at Maria (who was clearly not interested).

Ernie had been off-again/on-again with Bert for almost two years. If we weren't watching an illegal feed of Nickelodeon (thanks, Bird), we were usually drinking wine coolers and lamenting the men in our lives, how they were always focused on themselves, and how they would do anything they could to get ahead. To get the extra musical number, to play with the variety of minority children.

He always was self-centered, so let's just say I wasn't surprised when I spotted his new album at the store today. And don't even get me started on that fucking red-headed slut on the left.

Okay, first, Paul is right, Bert's eyebrow looks... weird. And second, wait, wait, wait: I just figured Elmo out. The wide-eyed, vacant stare. The high-pitched, irritating and completely-random giggle. The inability to stand still. The almost-pathological need to have even the simplest concepts explained to him in excrutiating detail. The continuous jerky movements. It all makes sense now. Elmo is tweaking on crystal meth. I've seen this before, it's SO sad.

Posted by: Drew '70 at December 2, 2004 1:00 PM



	« jus' me \| Main \| the otter side » December 2, 2004 [near and far] ^{12:05 AM} Grover and I broke up in 1986. It was my first real relationship, and while I tried to make it work, it became obvious he wasn't as committed as I. During my attempts to work things out he'd always change the subject. Sometimes he'd put on his cape and claim to be "Super Grover," and other times he'd get right next to me, tempting me, his breath hot on my face and say, "Near," and then run away, crossing to the other side of our rowhouse and shouting, "Far!" "Yes!" I would scream back, "Yes! You're near! You're far! You're everywhere but here!" Sometimes he would assign our conversations sponsor letters. By the end of our fights, I had usually changed the sponsors to "F" and "U." I changed a lot in that relationship. I discovered a lot about myself, and grew up quite a bit in the process. I moved in with Ernie shortly thereafter until I could get a place of my own. We worked together at Mr. Hooper's store down on the corner where Snuffy dealt the imported skittles, and where Jose repeatedly made passes at Maria (who was clearly not interested). Ernie had been off-again/on-again with Bert for almost two years. If we weren't watching an illegal feed of Nickelodeon (thanks, Bird), we were usually drinking wine coolers and lamenting the men in our lives, how they were always focused on themselves, and how they would do anything they could to get ahead. To get the extra musical number, to play with the variety of minority children. He always was self-centered, so let's just say I wasn't surprised when I spotted his new album at the store today. And don't even get me started on that fucking red-headed slut on the left. Comments What the hell happened to Bert's eyebrow? It used to be so thick and luxuriant. Please tell me that the photo retoucher went overboard...I can't deal with my ol' buddy ol' pal getting waxed. Posted by: paul '74 at December 2, 2004 1:14 AM I'm stuck between saying "you're a nut!" and "we have totally different taste in muppets." Posted by: D at December 2, 2004 10:34 AM Did I ever tell you what my nickname was in college? Posted by: chrisafer at December 2, 2004 11:25 AM Okay, first, Paul is right, Bert's eyebrow looks... weird. And second, wait, wait, wait: I just figured Elmo out. The wide-eyed, vacant stare. The high-pitched, irritating and completely-random giggle. The inability to stand still. The almost-pathological need to have even the simplest concepts explained to him in excrutiating detail. The continuous jerky movements. It all makes sense now. Elmo is tweaking on crystal meth. I've seen this before, it's SO sad. Posted by: Drew '70 at December 2, 2004 1:00 PM Does this mean Grover's on the market again? Score! Posted by: Jerry at December 2, 2004 2:35 PM One word for you boys regarding Bert's cosmetic update: muppetscaping. Kyle, you're the gayest boy in the world. Keep on keepin' on. Posted by: Geoffrey at December 2, 2004 4:06 PM I always felt so bad for Telly-- what a stale, washed up old queen. Posted by: Jason at December 2, 2004 7:21 PM Thanks to author for this blog, it was realy excite. Read my blog to. Posted by: AntientAss at December 7, 2004 12:55 AM Post A Comment Name: Email Address: URL: Remember personal info? YesNo Comments:

December 2, 2004

[near and far] 12:05 AM

[near and far] ^{12:05 AM}